"I feel so restless and alone. My world is empty. Does anybody care?"

Loneliness - Our American Secret

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”  Psalm 25:16

She picks up a pen and begins to write in her journal.  “I feel so restless and alone.  No place to go.  Nobody to see.  I just wander around the house all evening, watching the four walls close in on me.  My world is empty.  Does anybody care?”  Closing her journal, she wonders if life will ever get any better.

Who hasn't felt this aching void inside?  Loneliness is different than “being alone.”  We feel disconnected - like something's missing.  We switch on the TV to escape the deafening quiet.  Desperate to hear a human voice, we make a call.  But no one is home.  Just “leave a message… beep.”  The pain overwhelms us.

Loneliness is our American secret.  Constant activity dulls the ache.  But sometimes our perpetual motion backfires.  With little time available, our relationships become superficial.   We think “quality time” is sufficient, but it takes deep commitment to build a friendship.

God created us for relationship.  But often we don't know how to be close.  We're so busy trying to tell others about ourselves that we don't take time to listen.  Or perhaps we're so concerned with what people can do for us that we overlook their needs.      

Christ didn't come with a “me” focus.  He came to serve.  Here's a word picture you can try.  When you're with others, just imagine yourself serving them communion.  As you wordlessly reflect the love and sacrifice of Christ, God will fill the hole inside with deep, life-sustaining relationships.

Want to see your loneliness vanish like a mist?  Try these tips:

• Be more generous with your time.  Friendship takes commitment.

• Learn to listen.  Don't monopolize the conversation.

• Make friends with God.  He really has a lot to share.

The old saying is still true.  To have a friend, you must be a friend.  But the best cure for loneliness is a deep relationship with the Lord.  This nourishes us to pursue companionship with others.  Want “friend-fulfillment?”  Give up “self-fulfillment” and get connected!

Copyright 2005, Calvin R. Wulf and Lisa Are Wulf

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